Christophe Naudin, 46, is a history teacher at a French secondary school. On the evening of November 13th 2015, he was attending a concert by US rock band Eagles of Death Metal at the Bataclan music hall in central Paris when gunmen, acting in the name of the so-called Islamic State group, attacked the venue, killing 90 people, including a close friend of his. Naudin hid for several hours in a storage room before the terrorists were shot and killed by police. While he escaped largely unscathed physically, he has recurrently suffered from the severe effects of post-traumatic stress. He and fellow victims are civil parties to the criminal trial.
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“I haven't posted anything about the trial for three months. That's a third of the time it's been going on. And soon it will end. As the verdict approaches, my level of anxiety increases. The feeling of having missed something. I'm not sure I will be as ready as some of the others who are also civil parties to the proceedings to deal with the end of the trial, or indeed its aftermath. In part that's because I had to put following the trial on hold for a while, without really wanting to.
I followed the trial a great deal in the initial months, going there in person, listening to the web radio [editor's note, live broadcast coverage of the trial, with a short time delay, available for victims and their families] or reading accounts in the press. Obviously there were less interesting periods when, like many others who are civil parties to the trial, I stopped for a little while. But I quickly came back. However, since the end of April it's been different. I almost lost track, even though my level of interest had not particularly gone down in the preceding weeks.
Enlargement : Illustration 1
I was present for two of the final days that Abdeslam [editor's note, Salah Abdeslam, the sole survivor of the terrorist group and who is one of the 20 on trial] was being questioned in the stand, by chance managing to avoid the accused's (crocodile?) tears … As for the rest, while I don't believe that he backed out [editor's note, of detonating his explosive vest] through “humanity” but instead through fear (if he really did back out), I was still interested in his exchanges with lawyers representing the civil parties, though I was certainly a little irritated by his perverse game of 'I'm going to speak, but in fact I don't'. Something happened; it was even fascinating at times.
Several days earlier I'd come with my mother for the playing of sound and image recordings from the Bataclan, one of the most important moments for me (and her) in the whole trial and not just the trial. Hearing the concert and the gunfire once more didn't take me back there (the sound was too muffled) but allowed me again to piece together part of the chronological puzzle of the attack (the length of the gunfire bursts, the intervals between reloading). The images were too dark and had less impact on me. Despite some frustration (in particular the playing of the recording was too short) it was a key step.
However, after that moment and the questioning of Abdeslam (not forgetting a restorative concert by Eagles of Death Metal [editor's note, the group who were on stage during the Bataclan attack and who performed at the Olympia venue in central Paris on April 26th 2022] I stopped following it and I'm afraid I'll regret that. You could take it as a good sign, because it was another part of my life that was taking me away from the trial. Some positive moments, but also lots of work.
I hesitated more and more about taking days off to go to the trial, despite the management at my middle school being very understanding. I tried to organise some visits but the stopping and starting of Covid, which was still causing hearings to be rescheduled, prevented me from doing so, meaning I missed some of the testimonies from civil parties that I really wanted to hear and support.
I also found it hard to follow the court reports, the articles, the live Tweeting. I didn't listen to the web radio any more either. It was all too much and the trial seemed to be slipping away from me. I saw other civil parties who know the case like the back of their hand commenting on this or that speech by a civil party lawyer, and I told myself I would have liked to be there. I felt the same about going for a drink with fellow civil parties after a hearing.
In the end I decided to come back for the final prosecution speeches, taking just one day, which enabled me to follow the start and the end of the speeches by the public prosecutors. Coming back to the court building and its atmosphere did me good, even if I sensed a difference, as if things had happened in my absence. Which obviously they had.
It was also fascinating. The summary of the accusations against the defendants allowed me to put everything in perspective, and that was a very “educational” moment for me. About the facts of the case, I have very little to say. The fate and the personality of the defendants are still not the interesting part of the trial as far as I'm concerned, even if I sometimes got caught up in it, and even though I don't regret being present for some of the cross-examinations. I don't have any comment, either, on the sentences that the prosecutors have called for, and nor will I once the verdict has dropped.
After the prosecution's closing comments I took another break, a somewhat enforced one, as this isn't always the best time to be away from work (what with the staff assessments of pupils and helping pupils in the troisième [editor's note, year 10 in England, ninth grade in the United States] with their course choices). This time I'm keeping an eye on the reports and the comments on the defence council speeches. I hope that I'll be able to find all I've missed later in the many books that will doubtless come out about the trial. Even then, I know something will be missing...
However, I will go to the courthouse on the day of the verdict. I'm more and more nervous about it. Not the verdict itself, I don't really care about that. Initially it's more about the wait. Lots of people will be there, everyone will be stressed and worked up, it will be a scramble. Another historic moment supposedly bringing to a close a previous one, the day of the November 13th attacks itself. Then, once the verdict has dropped, there will be the reactions from the defendants, the civil parties, the journalists and the politicians. And then, a few days later, nothing more.”
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- The original French version of this first-person account can be found here.
English version by Michael Streeter